Need some words of wisdom to help me with my kids

Dear Mrs. Rob,

From a female perspective, I'd like to present some thoughts for you to consider. I only know your husband through this board but it occurs to me that you chose a life spouse pretty well. He is willing to raise productive , contributing children into responsible caring adults. For the rest of us in the world, that would be a good thing. But birds that never leave the nest will never fly. They won't find nice girls, marry and present you with grandchildren. They won't find nice girls because nice girls expect a grownup when they marry. They expect a partner, not a servant. Your boys, never mind their age, are still boys. Even birds in the wild shove their young out of the nest to learn to fly. I would bet a bundle that you love them and believe you are doing the best for them. As hard as it is, you are harming them for life. And you are putting way more stress on your partnership with your husband than is good for either one of you. You may not care for yourself, maybe not even for your husband, but you are crippling your sons. I'll even bet that was not in your plan. I am nearly 70 years old and I would have loved to find a man for a life partner who was grown up, but the one I married had a mother who enabled him to remain a child his entire life, and he did not love her for it, because he had never learned how to be unselfish enough to love someone else, not even his mother. I had to divorce him to literally save my own life. I grow into older age alone, and it ain't fun. Your boys need the pride of self-accomplishment learned through the storms of their own lives. Give them the gift of learning to mature. Give them the gift of someday enjoying the love of a good woman, perhaps even to raise children you would be proud of. Allow them to live through the consequences of their own actions and decisions. It is painful to watch but it is the greatest give of love you can bestow. You have my prayers.

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